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| speech ^^ |
| 01.25.06 (8:21 am) [edit] |
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MAYOR DUTERTE'S OPENING ADDRESS TO ATF 2006
(Davao City Mayor Rodrigo R. Duterte delivered this
piece, his Welcome Remarks as the father of the Host
City during the 25th ASEAN Tourism Forum Opening
Ceremonies last January 17, 2006 at the Bangko
Sentral ng Pilipinas Convention Hall. His speech was
well received, well applauded and much appreciated by
the delegates of the ATF 2005. MABUHAY ANG DAVAO! –
Ian Garcia)
On behalf of the more than 1.4 million diverse people
in this largest city in the world, it is my honor and
pleasure to welcome you all to Davao City- the
Philippines’ gateway to Mindanao and to the East ASEAN
Growth Area.
Thank you for choosing our city to be the venue of
this silver anniversary of the Asean Tourism Forum.
You have chosen well because we are extremely proud of
our achievements as a cosmopolitan city of Indigenous
and Muslim tribes and migrant settlers from all over
the world.
Truth be told, we have not really consciously promoted
Davao City as a tourist destination until now, when
you insisted that we should come out into the world
and share our own wealth of wonders. This reluctance
to open to outsiders is probably due to OUR HISTORY OF
STRUGGLE AGAINST THE IMPERIALISTIC AGENDA OF OUR
WESTERN COLONIZERS AND EVEN OF OUR OWN MANILA-CENTRIC
NATIONAL GOVERNMENT. We are wary of foreigners who
come and visit because BEFORE ONE CONQUERS AND
EXPLOITS A PLACE, ONE FIRST VISITS IT AS A TOURIST. SO
WE CAN NEVER BE SURE.
But, perhaps, Davao is too beautiful to remain a
secret for long. People who come here could not stop
telling others about it and some of them even stay
here for good. YOU ARE ALL WELCOME, OF COURSE. BUT YOU
CAN ONLY DO SO ON OUR TERMS. WE WILL NOT CHANGE THE
WAY WE ARE JUST TO PLEASE OUR TOURISTS. WHAT YOU SEE
IS WHAT YOU GET. AFTER ALL, ISN’T THE POINT OF TRAVEL
THE ADVENTURE OF DISCOVERING NEW PLACES, MEETING NEW
PEOPLE, AND EXPERIENCING OTHER WAYS OF LIFE?
Davao’s unique offering to the world is our diversity
of peoples, cultures, and nature and how all of these
interconnect and mix to create a truly cosmopolitan
city. We are home to majority of the indigenous tribes
found only in this part of the world and to a vast
variety of flora and fauna. We enjoy an environment
that is embracing and tolerant of diverse thinking and
lifestyles, where no one group or idea dominating over
the others. So the kind of tourists we want to visit
us are those who appreciate diversity and who wish to
be enriched by our varied cultures, who have respect
for our people’s rights and welfare. We want only
those who wish to bring us peace and no harm.
Of course, the NEGATIVE TRAVEL ADVISORY AGAINST US IS
CANTED AND SELF-SERVING. There is POLITICS IN TOURISM,
after all. If we look at the COUNTRIES THAT ARE FOND
OF LABELING US AS HAVING “SECURITY PROBLEMS”, THESE
ARE ACTUALLY THE VERY SAME COUNTRIES THAT INVADE AND
CONQUER OTHER COUNTRIES, WAGE UNJUST WARS, AND
INCIDENTALLY, CONTROL THE GLOBAL TOURISM INDUSTRY. So
we should not accept that as a matter of fact, but
view it as part of a larger political context. Being
hypocritical and discriminating against poorer ad
smaller destinations like us is probably their tourism
strategy. Because HOW ELSE CAN THEY COMPETE AGAINST
EXOTIC AND CULTURALLY RICH ASIAN DESTINATIONS?
If I may be allowed to share Davao’s tourism strategy,
it can be summed up with this – TAKE CARE OF YOUR OWN
PEOPLE, REMAIN UNCONQUERED, ASSERT YOUR INDEPENDENT
SPIRIT, MAINTAIN AND ENCOURAGE DIVERSITY, ENSURE JUST
IMPLEMENTATION OF LAW AND ORDER, AND IGNORE TRAVEL
ADVISORIES ISSUED BY ILL-ADVISED EMBASSIES. WE WILL
TELL YOU OURSELVES IF WE ARE NOT READY FOR YOUR VISIT.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Most Livable
Philippine City in Asia! We will take good care of you
the way we do our own.
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| betterment of you or me |
| 01.10.06 (9:17 am) [edit] |
I’m calmed down now.
I couldn’t sleep though. I was thinking about the “mess” I’m in.
So I deserve to be called a cretin, and I will accept that award. I’m in a renal organic fertilizer.
But do understand the psychological stress of having a broken computer! Last week, I found that my 3 week-old computer doesn’t boot properly. I tried to fix it, but it doesn’t bulge. Since it has 1 year warranty, dad brought it to the shop where we got it.
It was fixed. He said. I then tried it. It still wouldn’t boot. Windows XP doesn’t load. The screen shows nothing (it flickers which seemingly doesn’t get signals from the CPU). Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Came the psychological and physical stress. A video project is due on Friday, and its Wednesday already. I need the machine. The muscles on my upper body twist, contort, tighten. I was angry awhile ago, but I’m calmed down now.
So what did I do? I switched the voltage regulator from 220 V to 110 V. I saw a flash of blue light. Dad saw it too. I was interrogated. I did not say anything. Felt what children feel when their parents spelled it out that they’ve fucked up.
But the computer that was serviced came home not fixed. Why do I have that feeling “oh oh…”and I can’t sleep. The cause: I fear they could/would get the better out of this situation. They might blame the burned PSU as the culprit of the malfunctioning computer, and refuse to have it under the warranty. But having burnt a PSU only affects the PSU, right?
So why do I think this way? Shouldn’t I ask, why shouldn’t I think this way? The problem could be easily attributed and hidden under my mistake.
I was wrong. I learn things on the worst ways. I am indeed a destructive person. I feel bad about it. I have contributed to the deaths of two puppies, the downfall of an organization, and now a new computer (but actually the list of my destructions is longer).
_____
It sucks being a god of destruction. It’s very lonely.
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| My name |
| 01.09.06 (6:56 am) [edit] |
I am Didis the god of destruction. Check your mythology!
Actually my name is Clariz (I had my birth certificate checked). My brother gave me the nickname “Didis” because he couldn’t pronounce it in our toddler-years. So everyone just called me Didis.
I was ashamed to tell people my nickname— it sounds like dilis, a very small fish. When dried and fried, dilis is a good breakfast with siningag. You dip it on vinegar with garlic. The crunchiness complements the tenderness of siningag, thus creating a temporary feeling of heaven on earth inside your mouth. It is also good when you make it to an omelet, which should be very crispy. Even if the homonym of my nickname produces such gastronomic pleasantries, it’s a food for …… the poor. People laugh at my nickname as if it is dilis itself. I guarded it tightly. Information leakage on my nickname should not happen—sort of thing.
Clariz, my name is uncommonly spelt. I thought it was very uncommon that I tried egosurfing. It’s the act of narcistically and obsessively googling one’s name on purposes of validating one’s existence and to know that one’s name is a “popular search”. So I googled myself and found out my name is not very uncommon. At least I wasn’t named “John” or “Mohammed,” names the most common names. Unlike Didis, I think I am the only person in this world who is named Didis, (but I have to google that). I no longer find my name cacophonous. It’s a name of a god with so much destructive force.
Come second year high school (or was it third year?), I have stumbled upon my nickname on a literature book. Why would my name be in a book? I was shocked.
More shocking was that Didis is the god of destruction. Talk about coincidence! My parents cannot run out of stories about me as a destructor. I’ve destroyed my doors (my brother locked himself because he took my pencil from me and I needed force to retrieve my pencil). Neatly piled heaps of cans, rice, salt, boxes fall down the second I touch them! Upon the constant counsel of my parents, I have never walked between the kitchenware in malls. I have this fear that I might cause the glasses to fall down, which would cost astronomical values. Better be safe than sorry. On the latest count, 3 cell phones had bid farewell before their warranty dates; 1 TV now needs tape to keep its guts from spilling out; my Jansport backpack which boasts of lifetime guarantee, succumbed to its fate in only 4 years time. Have I mentioned I lost my left index finger and some doctor put it back?
Perhaps I could have a career in quality assurance. Yeah, and products of best quality will have a “Tatak ni Didis” with pride.
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| true |
| 01.04.06 (9:54 am) [edit] |
The person with good intention but without capabilities and the person with bad intention but with capabilities are the same when something that is a matter of life and death came up. The only difference is that, the first one doesn't mean it, and vise versa.
Harsh, but you still need the skills.
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| a dream |
| 01.03.06 (9:53 pm) [edit] |
I had a dream this morning:
There was a city on the sea of small people and there was a gathering. A man seemed to fail the people because he was a coward whom we shall call for the sake of storytelling, Peter. The townspeople were chanting, “what are you standing for?” Now a giant (ordinary human size; stocky; with lots of clothing; long curly red hair;) came attacked the sea city. He took this fairy whom I shall now call Bell. Peter flew up to save her—he felt he needed to. But the giant is too strong, and he just took them away.
What happened to the righteous townspeople? They fled.
Next, Peter broke free from his binds easily. They were caged in the ceiling of a clinical warehouse. Bell was too tired, so he carried her on his back. They escaped on the right time; the giant was away. They saw the giant’s house. I find it quite nice and luxurious, but it was full of loneliness. There was protective mosquito screen all around, so they flew up and up, looking for an exit. They saw his tidy bedroom, computer on his veranda, and large bathroom. Flying didn’t make them tired, it was the atmosphere of the sad place. Finally, they saw a small whole on the screen. And they flew there.
Small as they are, the giant saw them escaped. I couldn’t forget the look on his face—it had so much anger.
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| Bathing |
| 12.30.05 (6:24 am) [edit] |
Why do I don’t like bathing? No, I am not asking the right question. Why do I don’t like bathing? Foremost, I like bathing. I like feeling clean and smooth—the after-shower feeling!
But, people are questioning my personal sanitation, particularly my parents. I don’t take showers before going to school. I only take a bath in the evening. While my blockmates enter classes with drenched hair, I go with my bedroom look.
Why? I commute.
The world is dirrrrrrty. Dirty I tell you—at least at this part of the world. I don’t like taking a bath in the mornings because I don’t like having my hair wet in the morning, having no choice but to let nature slowly dry it. I swear, it’s the most uncomfortable feeling! _< I don’t like sighing because a smoke belcher has powdered me with a grey mist with such smell. I don’t want to take shower before going to school because I’ll only get drenched with dirt. I know there’s fault in this logic, but I really dun wanna! >_< > But I think its not only the reason why I don’t like taking a shower. Its cold… and lonely. The task of cleaning oneself is almost like a routine. Boring… its not stimulating. So as I prolong not taking a bath, I could fully appreciate bathing.
But I love hot springs and I could be considered a patron of such resorts. Not only soaking in hot spring good for the health, especially the skin, muscles, and generally the whole well being of the soakee; but hot spring is one of the best places for interacting with people. It is very contusive for talking, catching up with old friends, and just being with people. I fondly remember one time, I nearly drowned of laughing as we were soaking in hot spring.
In hot springs, its not lonely, its not cold.
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| burning bakery |
| 12.30.05 (5:30 am) [edit] |
I am eating a piece of bread that came from the bakery that is burning right now.
January 1 is coming. Fireworks, round fruits, cacophony—they’re all around us now, ready to full blast on 23:59.
Anyway, news and current affairs channels show the possibilities of mishandling firecrackers. Lost fingers, mangled hands, bloody human meat…
Now the bakery is on fire (according to mom’s phone call). It all seems so sudden. I just went to buy 40 pieces of pan de sal at one pesos each, there at around 6 am. The bread seems to be less sweet, and it seems to be not freshly baked because of the color of the crust.
Is it firecrackers related? Mishandling? Intentional? Arson? Accidental? Or just a wake-up call?
Hmmm. It would be a good opportunity for them to improve their product. It doen’t matter if it happened near New Year’s Eve, someone’s birthday or whatever. Shit happens.
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| Ninuno |
| 12.21.05 (9:11 am) [edit] |
I lost Ninuno 1 month, 2 weeks, and 4 days ago. I wonder if he's with Mebuyan, the wet nurse goddess who nourish babies before they could cross the river to the next world?
Ninuno might have biten Mebuyan ^_^ his siblings have developed their teeth.
______
I now officially live on dying-- thrive on death. Loss... Why do I feel lost when I have not lost you? Will you become like Ninuno? The strings that attached us have become less and less strong. And you couldn't be there when I tag you to me.
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| Some Images |
| 12.19.05 (4:31 am) [edit] |
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| Eat chocolates and having sex is the same |
| 12.16.05 (3:48 am) [edit] |
Eating chocolates and sex are the same, I say this in theory and experience.
The greatest joy of eating chocolates is in the moment when you put it in your mouth. This is only for a split second; but people eat chocolate hoping to get this moment of ecstasy. Because after you swallowed it, you know you'll want more and more and more. Though you try to prolong it, the orgasmic counterpart of eating chocolates is only felt a split second, and you cannot fake it. You may regret eating chocolates and having sex, but with chocolates you could get chubby. My friend favours sex saying and I quote, "with chocolate , you gain calories.. with sex, you lose them."
She also said, chocolate triggers migraine, but sex can mitigate it." That gave me a lot of perspective. I, a who hosts migrane weekly takes note of this.
You can eat chocolate or have sex with someone or do it on your own. But with chocolate, there is no such thing as safe eating. Kudos to that.
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| bad bad |
| 12.09.05 (12:36 pm) [edit] |
Okay.
My organizational skill is a failure. I was trying to catch every bait that passed in front of me; and, so I wasn’t able to catch one. Nice analogy… Biting bait means being caught by a fisherman who will flaunt it to his fellows. Nice.
I realized I’m just ineffective and not for the job. “What job?” I ask. Well, I’m not doing the tasks on my job description because “they” dump jobs on me. Sounds familiar? Those who are burned out have the probably the same goddamn experiences.
I read on Psychology Today (a monthly magazine) that people quit their jobs not because of the company, but because of their supervisors. People leave/hate their bosses, not the company.
Uhhhhhh...
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| Writing |
| 12.07.05 (1:00 am) [edit] |
To write is to solidify thoughts
What if your thoughts are fluid and cannot be solidified?
How then can the writer manuever her craft and chisel her thoughts into words?
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| 20 Minutes with Jaymark |
| 07.30.05 (4:18 am) [edit] |
I met Jaymark on the street. He then became my victim.
I was wondering if I would continue with my first choice of taking pictures of impoverished homes. But I somehow could not take pictures of squatters houses for my project in photojournalism. I dare not take pictures of their homes, not because of having a problem with permission, or because it’s dirty or the lighting is bad and I wont get good shots. Money is a very hard to topic to talk about. Lacking it and unable to afford even the basic things for living is even a harder topic. I did not want them to feel they are the topic of my project. I dared not do it.
I saw Jaymark walking on the street. He was counting coins and he was holding a bilao, covered with banana leaves. It was clear that he was selling merienda door to door. My first impression: a young boy, from a poor family with lots of brothers and sisters, who helps with the household expenses by selling banana cue. I was wrong. Though he was petit that I thought he was 5 or 6 years old, he was actually in grade 6, he said! He also just doesn’t have a big family because he only has 3 siblings. And he doesn’t sell banana cue. He sells sugar coated putobumbum in a stick. He is the firstborn, and sells putobumbum every weekend or whenever he doesn’t have classes.
I was really shocked how small he was. He is malnourished and underweight. I cannot imagine how he lives, his living condition, how they squeeze their money, how he sleeps, how he thinks... My 8 years old brother who hates school weighs 42 pounds and he’s only in grade 3. Jaymark was in grade 6 already. The comparison sickens me. The reality is sick.
Not that I blame my brother for hating school or being too big for his age—but what I am concerned about is the distribution of resources. The facts are disgusting. What’s more disgusting is the people who carelessly buy things they don’t need.
Jaymark is very small. I really thought he was really young, but his eyes had a different squint, his lips have a different way of speaking, his manner was very respecting. He is not aggressive with selling his goods, but his goods were almost sold out.
I asked if I could take a picture of him, but he of course said the polite “no”. I negotiated to buy the remaining 6 sugar coated putobumbum from his bilao, and he said the happy-and-contented “yes”. I took a portrait of him. He wasn’t smiling. He wasn’t trying to be happy like all of us when cameras are to be clicked. He was just doing something normal. He was unpretentious, not like us when we are exposed to the camera. After I got satisfied with the focusing, aperture, and composition, and after I clicked the trigger—that’s when Jaymark smiled! I did not return a polite-thank-you-smile. I just smiled.
Photography is a very selfish act. You expose the specimen and etch their images forever (until the picture is destroyed). You capture. You capture. You construct. You compose. You manipulate-- You capture, construct, compose, manipulate, and sometimes steal to get “that shot.” You hide behind the lens, pretending to be not at that reality, just a viewer. Not part of the subject’s world.
Well, what I did is that I manipulated Jaymark to bring me to his house. He then asked me why, and I said I wanted to take pictures. He asked what kind of pictures, I answered his house. He asked why not other people’s houses. I could not say, “Because your house is drab.” I took pictures of other people’s houses on the way. People asked me why are you taking pictures? I said awkwardly its for a project. More awkward verbal exchanges…
I stole images.
I was hiding behind the lens. The boxes that are made out of plywood and rusty metal sheets are not houses—its people’s homes. The air is full of awkwardness and uneasiness. I was hiding behind the lens… and couldn’t get out of there.
Jaymark lead me to the seaside. The houses were on the sea! Bamboo poles supported them. I only took few pictures. As I write this, how are they when the typhoons and when the sea swells?
Jaymark knew almost anyone. He was my spokesperson. He pointed views I could steal images of.
He introduced me to the children—the children who loved their pictures to be taken—smiling, eager children. Politely, I took pictures of those children until I had enough. But these children wanted more! I realize now that I don’t stole those images. I just captured them.
We went to another place, the children following us. We went into an empty lot where two shirtless boys were playing with fire, but they weren’t really playing with fire. They were melting copper. Copper to be sold. And it was very nice! The flames sometimes had a green color. Then one moment the flames would die, but then it will burst again! I used my camera to take pictures of them.
The empty lot was grassy and the children took advantage of it and played around. I took pictures.
When I take pictures of Jaymark, he doesn’t smile like the other children. It is after when the “1, 2, 3, *click*” is finished when he beams.
We all went home after that. The two boys continued melting their copper and the children went back to their homes with Jaymark.
I had films left. I promised myself to take pictures of my family when I got back… and mentor my younger brother. So at least I wouldn’t be just hiding behind the lens.
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| Back with a dead flashdrive |
| 06.16.05 (5:38 pm) [edit] |
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its been half-a year or so since I have posted here :P
Maybe I'm going to start to blog again. I don't want to keep my thoughts to my grave.
I'm in my 2nd year now in college and so much have passed and realizations I stumbled upon.
About 2 hours ago, I was trying to print something into a tarpuline banner. The computer in the internet cafe recognized my flashdrive and I had even saved a one 600kb file! BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT after taking it off and speaking to the manager, then putting it again on the port, IT DOESN'T WORK ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(( THE HORROR!!! got me really pissed because the lady wasn't delicately and carefully putting my flashdrive on the port.
And so I was really crossed. I frowned and pouted and frowned some more. Even whined, yes. I think I just threw the official receipt a day ago and lost the box/plastic. I don't know if I could get it replaced agaaaaaaaaaaaaain :(
Fortunately, there was no irreplceable file on the disk-- except a movie whose other copies I hope to find.............. coz if not, I lost an irreplaceable file then.
My flashdrive :((
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| Description from Astrology.com and my Comments |
| 10.01.04 (4:29 am) [edit] |
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Libra/Scorpio
October 19 to October 23
Libra is the seventh sign of the zodiac; Scorpio is the eighth. After Libra's intellectual exploration of other people (I’m an explorer, but with people, I’m always losts!), Scorpio's interest is in discovering other people's emotions and how they respond to the world around them (not really). Scorpio is the sign of sex and death (Freud said that’s all we want—to be fucked and to fuck, then die) , the beginning and ending (for one thing I don’t believe in a definite start and end), and they explore these ideas from an emotional standpoint (What? Are you saying I’m too emotional?). Libra/Scorpios strive to create balance and harmony (messy world) between self and other through investigation and probing. They are often strongly intuitive and penetrating. (I knew you were going to say that.) They have a need to be liked. (of course)
The astrological symbol of Libra is the Scales (obviously). Like the scales of justice (yuck), Librans are objective and just. (For one thing, I don’t believe in justice which is basically a set of retribution and punishments). They abhor unfairness and conflict (but such things are necessary!), striving above all for peace; but at times they are easily deterred from their beliefs (like everyone else). Librans are able to see all sides of an argument (like all else), but as their mental scales sway back and forth (I’m not indecisive), they may never find balance (but I find balance everywhere). The astrological symbol of Scorpio is the Scorpion (obviously). Like the mythical scorpion, those born under this sign tend to be strong-willed and wary of being controlled by others (I like being on top). In keeping with Libra's cardinal quality, Libra/Scorpios are diplomatic and cooperative; they are skilled at initiating group projects (but I haven’t tried organizing orgies). They can be stubborn, refusing to give up when others have long since become bored and abandoned a project (lazie folks). Libra/Scorpios get things done when no one else thought it possible (Uh-huh). In this way, the fixed quality of Scorpio is expressed.(hmm…) When Libra/Scorpios set goals for themselves, they are determined to succeed.(I just hope I will) They have their own agenda and work to achieve their desires. (to be effed and to ef)
Libra is ruled by the planet Venus. In ancient Roman mythology, Venus (great planet) (and her Greek equivalent, Aphrodite) was the goddess of love, beauty and pleasure (!!!!). She represented joy, happiness and appreciation of beautiful things (hmmmm…). Scorpio is ruled by the planets Mars and Pluto. In ancient Roman mythology, Mars (and his Greek equivalent, Ares) was the god of war, (my nick is the same as the name of the god of destruction in Cambodian mythology) and ancient astrologers assigned both Aries and Scorpio to this planet. Pluto (and his Greek equivalent, Hades) was the god of the underworld (yeah, I control souls), and when the planet Pluto was discovered early in the 20th century, astrologers assigned Scorpio to it.
Libra/Scorpios are seductive and attractive, commanding and intense.(I love what you’re saying) Cultural awareness and a talkative nature help them shine in the social situations they so enjoy. (hahaha) The element associated with Libra is Air. (but in Chinese mythology, my element is water) The element associated with Scorpio is Water. (but still) Libra/Scorpios are skilled at communication and abstract reasoning, (and yours is a clear tongue) and their intelligence (like a monkey’s) combines with their interest in others to become an intellectual exploration of those around them. They may repress their emotions, (when its not beneficial) but underneath they are lusty and perceptive.(indeed) Libra/Scorpios are motivated and loyal, (I am not loyal at all, nor am I committed) but they are often misunderstood and may be seen as dictatorial or sarcastic (at times). If they have an ulterior motive, they can be overbearing, (hahaha) but in a subtle, sly or manipulative way. (hahahaha)
Libra/Scorpios are both mystical and scientific (*nods*), a combination that makes them very aware of what is happening around them; they are a sign of great depth. If they aren't careful, though, their passionate nature may lead them into self-indulgence or compulsion (hahahaha). In their leisure time (every moment is leisure time!) , Libra/Scorpios tend to have a definite lazy streak (you bet). However, this is barely perceptible because they also enjoy difficult pursuits that challenge them to excel (can’t help it), and they refuse to settle for being anything less than the best (can’t help it). They may have a particular affinity for activities that let them get out in nature.
In love relationships, Libra is playful, romantic and devoted. (Romantic? At times. But devoted? Only until I am happy, then I flee) The great strength of the Libra/Scorpio-born is in their drive for peace and harmony and their determination to see things through to the end. Their skill at seeing all sides of a situation with great passion and strength makes them one of the most powerful characters of the zodiac. (hmmm *grins)
My birthday coming up! Yey~ ;)
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| x_X |
| 09.29.04 (9:17 am) [edit] |
Experience is different from literature. No matter how good the recounteur is, one could not put everything on aaaaaah....... shit
I shall write later, errrr maybe tomorrow
*realize she is wasting space*
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| Unpaired Shoes |
| 09.28.04 (3:27 pm) [edit] |
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The events that happened today are not in my favor. I am now wearing unpaired shoes. Worst, one is high heels and the other is not. I have been wearing shoes all my life, but today’s incident just happened now. Good thing I’m wearing pants today, and I was even contemplating to wear skirts this morning! And my classes are from 9 to 5 pm!
I am somehow reminded of the lines from Hamlet. Pretty cliché, yes, but, hell. My mind acts weird with such incidents happening.
'To be, or not to be; that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And, by opposing, end them. To die, to sleep -
No more, and by sleep to say we end
the heartache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to - 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep.
To sleep, perchance to dream. Ay, there's the rub,
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil
Must give us pause.'
To buy a pair of shoes or not to buy? To go on with confidence or not to. Hmmmm.. I shall go on and not buy a new pair. Waste of time. Waste of money. Waste of opportunity and experience. Many people could say they survived a day with unpaired shoes?
Ha! Easier said than done. I shall keep you updated after this… ill-fated incident. X_x
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| arrrg |
| 09.24.04 (10:31 pm) [edit] |
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I hate it when people asks, "what's with the make-up?" showing in their tone that it was unfavorable. Well, I only wear eye-liner and lip gloss! Is highlighting your features a fault?
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| 09.23.04 (8:08 pm) [edit] |
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I think I'm becoming fluent in swearing, since there are many reasons to be. I'll cling to my "winner mentality" ^_^
I will learn from these incidents and keep on smilling. Woohoo!
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| No topic |
| 09.21.04 (5:49 am) [edit] |
One's dream is proportional to one's team =) Took me awhile to fully learn this. I dream a lot, and I have to direct my effort to the right projects. weeeeeeeee~
I now write in another notebook as a diary. I have 3 notebooks that I really consider my diary though I have a lot of notebooks with scribbles and ramblings on them. I'm just happy. though need more sleep x_X mooo sleeeeeep
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| Interesting Day |
| 09.19.04 (1:35 am) [edit] |
I had a wonderful yesterday. All things were unexpected. The meeting (for the damage control to my mistake) went well. I visited the Metropolitan Museum as I waited for mom, sis, and bro to go shopping. Then that night, we went to a concert and bar that was sponsored by my bro’s school. Now, my feet still ache because of overuse.
The night was weird, in a good way. I had a lot of eye contact with this certain guy, possibly in his late 20s, cutely semi-bald. He’s just plain looking. One’s dressing tells a lot of the dresser. It could show how he wants to have attention or uniqueness. But this guy was just wearing a white shirt and jeans, and pretty plain compared to other people. Its not love at first sight, I know what love is. He just interested me because I’ve always caught his sight. I could have taken the initiative, but he was with his girlfriend (he had his arms around another someone one time). Hehehe. Fun =)
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| I'm a BEAR! ^_^ |
| 09.16.04 (11:25 pm) [edit] |
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Bear Spirit Calls To You ~ Bear is spirit keeper of the West, the place of darkness, maturity and good harvest. Bears are active during the night and day. This symbolizes its connection with solar energy, that of strength and power, and lunar energy, that of intuition. The bear holds the teachings of introspection. When it shows up in your life pay attention to how you think, act and interact.
Bear's Wisdom Includes:
*Introspection
*Healing
*Solitude
*Change
*Communication with Spirit
*Birth and rebirth
*Transformation
*Astral travel
*Creature of dreams, shamans and mystics
*Visionaries
*Defense and revenge
*Wisdom
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| =) |
| 09.16.04 (9:22 pm) [edit] |
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& nbsp; &n bsp; What I failed to do compromised 3 months of our work. I was just told that I have to log in everything bureaucracy work and it has to be filed within 7 days. I couldn’t do anything, obviously—it was too late. But I liked the feeling. I liked the feeling of helplessness and the feeling of no return. I’m stuck, but only for the moment. I cherish these incidents.
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| The Eyes I Use |
| 09.13.04 (4:16 pm) [edit] |
oldphotothat makesyouold
 eyesthatmakes youancient
apicture...
itnolonger representsyou
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| Love and Hate |
| 09.13.04 (3:51 am) [edit] |
How many people have said “I love AIESEC?” Uncountable. How many people have said, “I hate AIESEC?” Perhaps uncountable too.
I may be just a bit low on energy. I’m sick. I have flu. I’m tired of my school work. I have not been able to do what I want for a long time. I have not able to dance, nor have I been able to laugh when I really want to laugh, or be sad when there is a reason.
Perhaps, the reason why I have declared a love-hate relationship with AIESEC is that it requires me to have responsibility, and responsibility equates commitment. I do not want to commit. I get tired when I commit. I ran from commitment and have not been able to end commitment because commitment never ends. I want to constantly move to the rhythm of the universe. I am a tree that doesn’t want to have roots.
I am neurotic. Analysis is futile. Rest is what I need.
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